The Connection with Jay Miralles #5 - Van Deeb

Speaker 1: 0:02

Connecting the dots, connecting his guests to the world, creating more connections. Welcome to the connection with your host. Jay Miralles podcasting from the Parkville studio . Welcome to the

Jay Miralles: 0:16

I'm your host, Jay Miralles. And this is episode number five, and this is a different episode. This is not , um, just any show. This is deep insight, and I have my mentor with me, van DB van. Thank you for being here today. Uh, this is a special episode for me because I kind of want to pour my heart and I couldn't do it alone. So I needed my mentor here and I appreciate you

Van Deeb: 0:41

Being here . Thank you, Jay. I feel very honored to be here with you today. Very proud of you and who you are as a person and a businessman. So I'm very grateful to have this kind of relationship with you. Thank you.

Jay Miralles: 0:53

You know, the buzz lately has been okay, so Jay left his comfort zone, right? So they know resigned as an agency manager. And , um, I loved my time there, but really van, what I was looking for was , um, a bit of chasing my dream and people like you, who've encouraged me through the years, said, you know, Jay you're onto great things. And it's, it's, it's encouraging to hear that, but it's scary to , you know what I mean?

Van Deeb: 1:21

So your comfort zone wasn't given to you, you created it and you will create the comfort zone that you had even more in this next venture. Really? Yeah. So, so comfort zones are created. They're not given to you and it's a decision you make, you know, when people talk about I'm in my comfort zone, it's because you've made a decision to , to really enjoy and be passionate, right? And just like you were. And, but we all have chapters in our lives and we move on and we move on for better things. And, and we follow our heart and we follow our goals and what our dreams are. And this is just a stepping stone to more exciting ventures for you. Absolutely. So this is something to celebrate. It's something to celebrate, to step out of one comfort zone and to get into another.

Jay Miralles: 2:13

I will tell you for the very first time, when I woke up this morning, I felt people say, Oh, do you feel the relief of pressure? Do you feel , uh, metaphorically? Yes, but you know what I really feel right now, I feel vulnerable. I feel very transparent. I feel like I want to share my story and it's not just all glory, it's responsibility. And I love what you taught people. When you said what's your, how do you say when you're, when you have the ability,

Van Deeb: 2:41

When you have the ability you have the responsibility. And if, especially with you, you know, all the abilities that you have, you're not doing yourself any favors by letting them sit and be stagnant and stale. You need to use your God-given talent.

Jay Miralles: 2:56

I've always been in my comfort zone. You know, I've chased money van and that's, I lived a very, I'm living a great life. And I remember when I first met you years ago, I said, I want to meet that guy fan. I want to be, you know , speaking like him. I want to have a book like him. I want to be in real estate. Like, you know , I remember this van when we were in the , uh, other studios before. And really it's a long time ago. It was a long time ago. I'd say how , how long would you guess? I think Abraham Lincoln was president. I think he owes us a nickel.

Van Deeb: 3:29

I want to say back in the late nineties, maybe early two thousands. Yeah . Somewhere around there. I don't know I could be wrong. I can't, I'm not good with time. No, I'm not. I'm grateful with time, but I'm not good.

Jay Miralles: 3:40

That's awesome too . Did you just make that idea?

Van Deeb: 3:42

Yeah . I make up a lot of things even made it my name this morning. I'm not , I went from van now. You can call me vanilla.

Jay Miralles: 3:49

You're you're anything but vanilla. Let's be honest. But fan through our talks, you know, you've inspired me to leave this comfort zone of, you know, for me, it's not about the money. Right. And I used to say that before, right? Like really four or five years ago. It's not about the money, but I didn't mean it. I did it.

Van Deeb: 4:08

You know, here's the thing that, and I abused this statement. When I, when you say you can't, you can't attach , uh , a trailer to a hearse. Right? And I love that because it puts things in perspective. You know, money is important to a lot of people and it is important to us that, that, you know, want to buy things or want to contribute to society or pay bills or whatever your motivation is. But bottom line is happiness is your key. It's like when I talk to people, I never define success as how much money did you make, right? Success is , are you doing what you want to do? And are you happy?

Jay Miralles: 4:54

I think too many people define it by what vehicle they drive, how many, how homes they have, what jewelry they wear. And while it's nice to have nice things that you work hard for. I think people put that at the epicenter. And I did that .

Van Deeb: 5:08

I did, I was the same way. Yeah. Yeah. And that's how you measure people's success. What, you know, a lot of people measure their success by what they drive and what they live in.

Jay Miralles: 5:17

I know. And we're so judged. Yeah. And we're conditioned our input from society says, if you don't drive this and you don't have this and you're not doing this, you must not be successful. I've got that shifting. I think. So

Van Deeb: 5:31

Look at people that are driving smarter cars or they're living more conservatively. I think other people look at them now as being intelligent and smart. Yeah .

Jay Miralles: 5:39

I think so too. You know , and it's not how much money you make. It's how much

Van Deeb: 5:43

That's bottom line. I preach that because I know a lot of people that are really the top in their industry. Right. And they're broke. I know because they've spent it all on material things. I want to tell you something, there was a named pastor, Rick Warren from Saddleback church in San Diego. And he said, I'll never forget this. It was during a bad economy in 2009, when somebody asked him, why is all these people so broke? And he said, it's because people buy things. They don't need with money. They don't have, that's true impress people. They really don't like, isn't that? And I'm like, you know, and me being in real estate for three plus decades, I've been with those people. I've been with the people that are going to buy the biggest house they possibly can. Right . And they will never be able to take a vacation. And so I would sometimes step out of, you know, my job description and say, you know, you can get the same square footage maybe in a , in a different neighborhood, but all for a lot less money, if you want to spend a little less, nevertheless, have a monthly payment. But because Bobby and Cindy did it and Tom and Julie did it, they have to do it. I see it every day. And I don't know how much of it's happening today, but

Jay Miralles: 6:58

I still see it. I mean, and then not only real estate, we're talking kids sports, you know, parents are pressuring their kids to be major league baseball stars. And they forget that this is little league. Yeah . And again, it's, I think the pressures of society, but I think there is a smart paradigm shift happening with the youth

Van Deeb: 7:17

Learning that, or people are becoming more comfortable with doing what's important to them. They just are. I mean, it used to be like my parents, like my dad, you know, he, you stay at your company for 30 years and then you get that gift. You get the gift basket, every holiday, or, you know, the Christmas season. And that's the way it was. If you didn't like your job, you still stayed there because that's what you're supposed to do. That's not today. Today. People realize how precious every second is that we're here on this earth. Right. And they want to jump on the train. That's going the fastest or whatever is making the happiest. Right. And , and I think I'm the happiest.

Jay Miralles: 7:55

And I agree with you so much van, because I think when I was leaving and I, and I heard people say, Oh, you're, you're walking away or you're leaving J they, I want them to know. I don't want to go to easier van. I'm not looking for easier. I'm not looking for less pressure. I'm not looking for a difference. I just, I want to move through a journey of what I want to do to make an impact. Right. And I think it's so important. And I've listened to you for years. St . J I think you should speak. I think you should.

Van Deeb: 8:25

Well , you've got a message for people. I, you know, for one, I love listening to you when you speak is , I know when you speak, you're speaking from your heart and you truly care about human beings. And , and if you're lucky enough to come across people like that in your life, you cling onto them . Like I've done with you, Jay. I go to you for lots of advice. And I know you call me your mentor. And I'm very grateful for that, but it's, it's kind of a reverse role with you too . I, I, that, so I'm , I'm just as grateful as you are with, when I ask you for advice or, you know, to work through a challenge.

Jay Miralles: 9:04

You're one of the people I consult advan on this whole, you know, I've talked with you about this and you really didn't tell me what to do. You challenged my thoughts on, okay, what is it that you want? Is this what you want? What are you kept telling me? You're, you're going to do things, Jay . You're going to do things. And I, and at the time when I hear those, I don't always listen. And I'm just being honest. Right? But after, after time that you kept saying, Jay , focus on what you want to accomplish. And then I finally listened. I finally listened in to hanging around people like you has made me realize I want more to give, not get, I want more to give

Van Deeb: 9:44

That's obvious with the charities that you're involved in. That that's very important to you. You know, it's, we're talking about stepping out of our comfort zone. We, we need to ask ourselves what makes us happy. Yes. And just like you're doing, and you know, you're a very blessed man. You got a beautiful family wife , and you got people in Omaha and throughout the country that think real highly of you, but only you can make the decision. What is, what does my career look like? What, right . You know, what's important to me. That's gonna make me the happiest.

Jay Miralles: 10:19

You know what, when you and I speak, I don't feel judgment. Or I don't feel, I feel coaching or , um, what's not, not an enhancement, but you're uplifting. I feel uplifted, you know? And it's because I've seen the things you've accomplished. Man , look, look what you've built. Now look at the positions you've held in Omaha, the influence that you've had to shape us to where we are today. There's a reason that we are top 10 entrepreneurial. I mean, let's be honest. Right? And talk about real estate. You built a great company.

Van Deeb: 10:48

Well, I had a great group of people. Yes. Came along the way and continued it. But yeah, I started out in my basement and you know, Omaha is a great city to, to build a firm. If you, if you treat people well, they'll treat you better. And Omaha's , uh , a testimony to that. You know, you can't build anything without being a good person, right? You just can't, you can have the greatest idea on the planet, but if you're not a good person, who's going to want to help you. And that's why like, with you, whatever you do, people are going to get behind you because you're, you're a good person. You truly care. I hope to see you M seeing so many charity events. Cause I think people see the passion that you have. And , um,

Jay Miralles: 11:34

And while I can't help everybody, right . I have to find the causes that I want. Right. And I think, you know, van, when I first met you, I was shotgunning my approach to many things, you know, and you probably saw me like, okay, what's he doing now? What's he doing now? What's he doing now? I want people to know that it's not about my work. I want people to know one is this God's work. But number two is I want them to know what my priorities are by my actions. Not just what I say, but what I actually do. And you've taught me like, Hey, it's good to be grinding. It's good to work hard. It's good to work, you know, effectively. But sometimes you gotta balance it, you know? And I think I have a problem with that. How about you now? Like, do you, what do you feel with balance and time? And we're talking about as, as we, as life goes by, as we get older, what are some of the things important to manage ?

Van Deeb: 12:25

So I couldn't spell the word balance and I believe that most entrepreneurial mindsets like J morale is like van de we, we , uh , we're so driven and we love what we do. And our work ethic is off the charts. Yeah . That we need to, you know, recognize other areas that make us happy. Now I want to tell you where I struggle is I always thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't enjoy taking four hours off of work and going golfing with my friends. And I used to say to myself, why do I, why would I enjoy doing a deal, a real estate deal or a business deal versus being on the golf course. And I used to think there's something wrong with that. And then I started studying more business leaders and more people. And it was like a contagious. It was, most of these people all had that one thing in common that when you ask them, would you rather take four hours to go golfing? Or would you rather take four hours and work on a deal? And they answered, I'd rather work on a deal. So everybody's happiness is different that wasn't, you know, when work can become where it's not stressful, right. That's where you've hit it. That's when you know I'm home. Right. I , I love what I do for a living and I'm home because it's not,

Jay Miralles: 13:58

Or to me, right . You're honoring your responsibility too , because let's talk about the deal. It's not just the deal. It's you are transferring your trust, your respect, your brand, helping somebody make a major decision in their life. It's not like, we're just, Hey, let me do me a favor.

Van Deeb: 14:19

So if you're by yourself, yes, that no balance is something that you can live with. But when you have a family, you can't do that. When you have a family, you need to spend time, not need to, you should want to, like you do with the kids, with your wife, significant other, that's a different story. So you need to either incorporate them in your work life, or you need to take the time and spend with them. Absolutely. It's not fair to anybody that's in your life. If you're a workaholic, right. It's just not, unless you're including them. Now I'm fortunate. You know, my speaking career in my real estate career, I can include any balance in any personal life I want in that, because a lot of my stuff is just getting on the phone for a short, quick minute. And I get back to what I'm doing. Absolutely. So, you know, and speaking, I get to travel. Well, gee, gee, that's not a, that's not a bummer. Yeah.

Jay Miralles: 15:15

Oh no. And you're, and you're meeting people and that that's what charges you. Right? I've noticed, man , that whenever you, it doesn't matter who they are when I introduce you to my friends or colleagues. Yeah . You make them feel like the most important person in the room. Thank you. And that's, I don't think that's a skill that's, that's true. Who you are. You really can't teach that. You can tell someone, Hey, look in the eye . When you talk, somebody make sure you're from a handshake , but the questions you ask and the way you look, forget everything you say, when they leave you, they feel different. Yeah. That's thank you .

Van Deeb: 15:51

That thank you. And I've learned, that's just common sense to me. You don't read that in the Harvard common sense to you, but not to all of us. No, but I'll tell you, like I just met Angie. Yes. Um, yes . Uh , Jorgensen and she's with Mary Kay. Absolutely. And she does Mary Kay. And I said, Oh my gosh. When I met her just now that you connected me. Yes . Like you do with everybody in Omaha. And I said, Oh my gosh, I quote Mary Kay, because I really believe in the culture. And she goes, Oh yeah. Which quote? And I said, you know, one of my favorites is, pretend everybody you meet has a sign around their neck. That says, make me feel important. Yes. I say that in all my speeches. I mean, everybody that's been to my speeches. No, I'm going to say that. Because to me that is one of the most important things that people need to know is we have the ability to make people feel important and it may not be complimenting them. It may just be smiling when you're passing by. Right. It may be just an acknowledgement. It may be just saying hello, but we have the ability to make people feel like they matter. And I know you have that as your default. That's my default. We don't have to go. Well, here's some people who are coming in a room. I better make them feel good. Right. That's you and I authentic get it where it's natural. But it's like anything for those people that aren't used to making people feel like they matter. Don't feel bad because like anything you can create the discipline and the discipline is start tomorrow. Every time you walk by somebody look at them in their eyes and smile. I don't care if it's at the gym, right. If it's at work, if you want to say hello, don't wait for them to say hello, say hello and keep going. So that becomes a discipline. Well then pretty soon that discipline becomes a habit. And before you know it, it's going to become natural to you. And that's when somebody might need a smile. That's what I was just going to say, somebody, you walk by, may need you to say hello could be their worst day in the world. I can't tell you how many times I've been to the gym or I've been somewhere I frequent and I'll smile at them . And then the next time it might be hello. And the next time we may walk up to each other and say, Hey, what's happening. Right? Because we feel like we know each other. It's crazy.

Jay Miralles: 18:03

It is. But it's normal for you. And it makes

Van Deeb: 18:05

Them feel good too. Yeah. And it makes you feel good. How much does it cost? No. Nothing. It's actually more expensive. Not to . Yeah . If you look at the long haul, because if you're in business, this person doesn't know you and will never do business with you. Right .

Jay Miralles: 18:20

That's true. And here's my thing. When I look at somebody with all the businesses that I'm involved in, I don't look at someone as a, as a transaction or what can I say? I look at how can I connect van to the next person and get out of the way. And I think social capital these days is, and my definition of social capital is I feel like you either have this pile of energy or resources or money in front of you. We all have it. It's like a virtual pile of cash. If you write right . If I hog it all to myself and just hold it to myself, it does no one any good. So I think when I connect to people that I spend a little bit to , to, to give to them, and then I , I invested in them and then you get out of the way. And then later something magical happens around it and their social capital piles

Van Deeb: 19:04

Go up. Well, let's look at, let's use an example today. Yeah. You introduced me to Angie. Yes. Jorgensen Jorgensen. It took you three seconds. Right? And within another 20 seconds, I'm inviting her to a speaking event. Absolutely. So that all took less than a minute. And it's because you said van Angie, Angie van. That was it.

Jay Miralles: 19:28

I w I couldn't wait to introduce you to again. And I thought, I know these two knew each other, but I didn't take that for granted. Right. I just know that when two great people meet great things happen

Van Deeb: 19:39

With everybody though. You just never know what you're going to connect with people. And that's one way you can do people services, introduce them to other people,

Jay Miralles: 19:46

Right? Because I might not buy a house from you today, you know, or I may not need your speaking services today. But if I keep introducing you, that makes my brand to you or my value to you go up because I'm a raving fan of yours anyway, but I don't do it for favors. I don't do it for counting. How many times I've injured . I do it because I know deep down in my heart, that is, I would want you to do that for me. If I, when I speak, I want you to say, Hey, here's Jay , this is, this is this,

Van Deeb: 20:16

He's a kid that, you know , just , just wants a part . It's hard out on stage, but van , um , you're the real deal. My friend,

Jay Miralles: 20:22

I appreciate that. I, you know, I just,

Van Deeb: 20:25

Everybody's, everybody's supporting you with your career moves and your endeavors and your ventures. Everybody is supporting you.

Jay Miralles: 20:34

It's so it's so surreal to me, what is happening and people are reaching out and van let's go back to your early years. I remember you had your goals written down and you kept them in your pocket and they basically didn't fit in your pocket on a , on a connected to a chain. Right.

Van Deeb: 20:51

It was a , uh , I took a picture of a plaque that somebody won a guide for being the number one agent in Dallas, Texas. Yes. And I, and I'm turning it into my key chain. It's a great story. And yeah , the audience can hear it when they hire me to come speak to them . And let's talk about your speaking to you that you're speaking it's March. So I have one coming up. That's local. It's well, here's the deal. The majority of my speaking events are not open to the public, right? It is a company hires me for their company and nobody else. Absolutely. This is pretty unique. This is one that I actually get to invite the public and even better. It's free. Thanks to West gate, bank of Lincoln that have now moving into Omaha and they have three branches in Omaha. Um, they are, they have , um, you know, they have put this event on for everybody to come into breakfast. There I'm going to be breakfast is from eight to nine. This is March 7th. It's from eight to nine breakfast and social hour. And then I speak from nine to nine 50 and then 10 minute break. And then we have a panel from 10 to 11.

Jay Miralles: 22:03

Yes . And one of our favorite colleagues are on

Van Deeb: 22:05

There . Yep . We know great people are going to be on that panel. And , um , um, I'm super excited. It's going to be Noah's event center. Yes. However, you can't just show up. You gotta register. I

Jay Miralles: 22:16

Will make sure to put the link at the bottom of this podcast,

Van Deeb: 22:18

For sure. Thank you. Because I can't remember it.

Speaker 4: 22:22

Oh my gosh. So

Jay Miralles: 22:24

Pretty long, but fan , um, I just want people to know when they listen that you have been a influential person in my life, and I know I keep calling you mentor and we say, it's reciprocal. I don't even want to label it anymore. I just we're great friends. And when I wanted to share this with the world or a piece of the story, I wanted to make sure that , that you were here. I couldn't tell this by myself. No.

Van Deeb: 22:52

And that's why I texted you last night just to see how everything went. Because I know most people would, you know, a lot of people would say, ah, I'm changing things up a little bit. Yeah . You care. As you care deeply about everybody. And this was, this is a very cool way to do what you're doing. I'm super impressed, but I'm always impressed with what Jay Miralles does. And we've known each other for years. I just him. But yeah ,

Jay Miralles: 23:19

We just really got close in the past few years and van I'm grateful. I'm grateful that you're encouraging me to follow my dreams. There's one listener right now, listening, saying, I want to do this. I want to, I want to, I'm in a situation that I want to expand. I want to grow. What's fans advice for that person to maybe they're down . Yeah .

Van Deeb: 23:41

Being themselves, take a deep breath, realize that God gave the same talent that he gave everybody else. You have the ability reach deep inside. Don't make a quick decision, but make a decision. At some point, life is short and you owe it to yourself. And the people that care deeply about you to be doing what you want to do. And until you get there, or until you recognize what that is, keep doing great at the job you have. Don't give, don't let up on, on being a really good employee or employer, because that will carry over into your next venture. That's true.

Jay Miralles: 24:26

Oh , your relationships are important. Now there's another person. I want you to talk to people like yourself, very in a position where they have the ability to help others, right? Where to share their time. It's so important. So that listener right now is very accomplished. They're very successful. What's your advice to them to help those who are needing their help or people like me when you saw me and you're talking to me,

Van Deeb: 24:50

You know, if you're not used to going out of your way to help people try baby steps, it's not, you're going to go write a big check to a charity. It may not have ne it may not have anything to do with money. It may just be being there for someone. I've got to tell you something that really, I still talk about it today. There was a gal on Facebook that poured herself out on her post and it , and she said, she was telling her Facebook audience of how rotten everything was happening in her life. I mean, it was bad, you know, no money, no FA you know , everything, but what she, the reason why she posted that was because at the very end, she said to help me feel better about my life. What can I do to help you with yours? Really ? And it blew me away. So instead of putting like on Facebook, I sent her a long note and say, that really impacted me is if there's something you're not happy about in your life, instead of dwelling on it. And instead of, you know, having a pity party with yourself, go help somebody else with some problems that they're going through, and maybe they just need you to visit with them. I can't tell you how many times that just visiting with people about their needs wants and their challenges, and just being a listener, what it does for people. That's what that does for people. It's amazing. And the cool thing is we all have this ability. We're all on a level playing field. We all have the talent we need to do and get what we want in life. Right? We just have to bring it out. And sometimes it's a trigger. You might bring it out at age 23, you might bring it out at 50. Might bring it out at 70, right? You can bring it out if you want

Jay Miralles: 26:47

Too . I think it's a conscious decision, not a choice. It's a decision that you have to make and PR

Van Deeb: 26:54

Around the right people, because being around the right people will help you bring out the best of yourself. It just does being around quality. And I don't mean people with money has nothing to do. Right ? Right . Being around people that are positive thinkers, that care about other people that are respectful being around those people will encourage you and maybe light a spark because they're in your midst.

Jay Miralles: 27:19

I'm telling you, I want to land this plane this way, because van, I know you on an intimate and a friendship and a co we're very close. And I can tell you this. I know what your books say. I know what you say. When you say, when you're on stage , I know how you coach people. I know how you encourage them. People hear you. But I see the actions that has inspired me. Thank you, buddy. I'm telling you, like, I don't even want you to say thank you. I just want you to bask in this moment of it is easy for someone to tell people what to do and sh and say how to do it. And here's the, here's the do it yourself book. But it's one thing to see it in action. And that has, that is what kicked me out of my comfort zone. Yeah . Honestly, I don't want to be comfortable. I , I don't, I'm not looking for comfort. I'm looking for a challenge. I'm looking to better myself and van watching you do the things that you do. Enjoy the people that you get to enjoy it with. Share the things that you have to share. You're generous. You are generous. Number one, your time I called you on a whim this morning, and you were just like, I'll move around for I van. No I'm priceless

Van Deeb: 28:33

Taping general hospital. I'll be that's no , no Ellen was on it for you'll be, you'll make it home. That was a total joke to be serious, to answer that or to comment on that is I would do anything to accommodate you and people I care about. And so that's what people do when they care about other people. And you know, Jay , a lot of great things are gonna happen to you because you continue to make great things happen to other people. So I encourage all your listeners to create more listeners for you. Thank you. And to get more people in the J Miralles camp, because you have an ability to make people better. And I, you make me better. So when you're calling me a mentor, I'm calling you the same thing. So that's awesome. And that's very sincere.

Jay Miralles: 29:21

I , I want to put all your information on how to contact you at the bottom of this post. Um , I want people to reach out to you. Van is an amazing coach. Um , he's an amazing speaker. He's an accomplished real estate professional, but van you're a, you're a expert at making people feel valuable. Thank you, man. My mission that is, that is no. I mean that van it's people read the here, I'm listening to you and I'm seeing you. Thank you. So I appreciate you letting me pour my heart out on episode number five, a special episode for me. I just I'm grateful for you, my friend. And thank you for being on the connection to me . I'm very grateful

Speaker 5: 30:05

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